Learning to Love our Children
In our previous study of this 13th chapter of Proverbs, I just touched on verse 24. In this study I want to give it our full attention as we learn how to love our children. I hesitate to deal with the discipline of children unless I have time to cover it fully; just as I hesitate to deal with the Scriptural truth of wives being in subjection to their husbands, unless I have time to deal with the total husband/wife relationship. I’ve seen too many immature husbands and fathers adopt a tyrannical attitude in both cases, thinking they are acting Biblically. For the full story on marriage and raising children I urge you to study carefully and prayerfully with your Bible my series on MARRIAGE and my series on FAMILY on this web site.
But for now, let’s examine further Proverbs 13:24 as we learn what it means for parents to love their children. The details of how a mother should love her children should be taught by older godly women, preferably her own godly mother, if such was the case, we learn in Titus 2:1-5.
Since a pastor’s teaching is accomplished, not only by preaching; but also by example, that is why, according to I Timothy 3:4-5, a preacher’s primary qualification for that important office is his own example as a godly husband and father.
Disciplining our children involves much more than lovingly spanking them when they disobey. It involves giving them our full attention when they speak to us and ask questions. That’s sometimes very difficult when a busy father has many pressing concerns on his mind. Just remember, father, that no business concern and nothing in your busy schedule is more important than giving your child the time and personal attention he craves from you.
If you give them your full attention as toddlers, you will continue to enjoy a close relationship with them through their emotionally turbulent teens. NEVER embarrass your children in the presence of others, just as you must never embarrass your spouse by cutting her down in the presence of others. Such cruelty and insensitivity only results in growing alienation of your children and your wife
There is NEVER an occasion to be thoughtless and rude in public or in private when dealing with faults in your wife or your children. When dealing with the faults of those in your family or others, it should always be done privately and the truth must always be spoken in love. There should be no question of your love for them.
FALSE RELIGION AND CRUELTY TO CHILDREN
In Old Testament times the heathen sacrificed their infants and small children to Molech, a human shaped fiery furnace. Children were placed in the red hot arms of this furnace type god and burned to death. God warned Israel in Leviticus 18:21 and 20:1-5 against being involved in such cruelty.
In some countries today parents throw their infants to their death in crocodile- infested rivers. In some countries twins are killed as part of their religious practice.
CIVILIZED AMERICA’S FALSE RELIGION
In civilized America many mothers kill their babies by aborting them.
Many parents over the past century have given their children to the public schools where the modern high priest, John Dewey, an America philosopher and educator, planted the seeds of Progressive Education a century ago.
It involved some good ideas, such as allowing children to learn by doing, instead of learning by mere rote memory. However, it also promoted the philosophy of never crossing the will of a child and allowing him to do his own thing in the classroom. Most Americans today who have grown up in this system have been fed and digested this philosophy which allows children to do as they please. Parents of this generation, raised the hippie generation with its rock culture, which expressed themselves with rebellion to all authority, including the authority of their own parents. Many parents who were fed this philosophy in school have swallowed and digested it to the destruction of their families, raising children who reject all authority and do as they please.
THE TENETS OF THIS FALSE RELIGION
Never cross a child’s will. He may scream and stamp his feet and become frustrated.
Allow a child to express himself and do as he pleases, even if his actions interfere with the freedom and comfort of others.
Never give children rules nor set boundaries telling a child what he may or may not do. This philosophy spills over to the modern churches where a preachers who declares what the Bible says is right and wrong, is labeled “judgmental” and is not tolerated.
Use psychology, not punishment with children. This method of child rearing is based on the anti-biblical principle that everyone is basically good and there is no such thing as sin. Never ever spank! Instead, use time-outs and loss of privileges.
Let me clarify. There ARE times when time-outs and loss of privileges are a useful method of discipline. However, when a child has deliberately disobeyed or shown defiance to authority; nothing less than spankings will suffice. To see how this method of discipline worked with my own children, go to the category FAMILY and read how we disciplined our three children.
THE BIBLE ON CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
God’s way of disciplining our children is corporal punishment. Read Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15.
The Godless world is opposed to corporal punishment for children and to capital punishment for murderers and rapists. They call it cruelty. If you are opposed to these methods of dealing with disobedience and crime, you have swallowed this anti-biblical philosophy which is part of so-called Theological Liberalism.
Parents, before you start spanking your children, make sure that you are not angry, but under the control of God; otherwise you are in no position to lay a hand on your children.
Spank only for the right reasons. Deliberate disrespect, disobedience or lying to you.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER SPANK A CHILD WHEN YOU ARE IN A FIT OF RAGE AND OUT OF CONTROL!
Spank only long enough and firmly enough on the buttocks to the place where your child has a broken heart and a broken spirit over his disobedience. If you do it right, when the spanking is over, cuddle the child in your arms and assure him or her of your love.
Let me speak from experience here. If you punish correctly, by the time your child is 5 years old and starts Kindergarten, he may never need another spanking. By the time he or she is a teenager, you will not need to deal with surliness and rebellion. You will have gained the love and respect of your child.
THE RESULTS OF USING CONSISTENT, LOVING BIBLICAL DISCIPLINE IN THE CONTEXT OF CHRISTIAN TRAINING.
Your children will be a delight and bring rest to you. Proverbs 29:17
Your children will bless you. Proverbs 31:28
Best of all, your children will continue to live their lives in the Biblical direction you steered and patterned for them by your own life. Proverbs 22:6
The happy bonus is that they will raise their children, your grandchildren, as you did them.
THE RESULTS OF RAISING YOUR CHILDREN PERMISSIVELY
They will grow up unhappy, sullen, angry children who long for parents to love them enough to set boundaries for them and make them obey.
Furthermore, they will grow up to rebel against all authority, including the police, because they never knew consistent, firm authority at home.
IT’S YOUR CHOICE FATHERS AND MOTHERS.
HOW WILL YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN?
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