Virtuous Woman #5: The Value of Virtue
What are you Looking for in a Spouse?
The average young person seeking a wife or a husband does not even consider the importance and value of virtue and character. They and their parents are more concerned about appearance, social standing and money. Parents directly or indirectly teach these values to their children.
Instead, we should be teaching morality and character to our children, primarily by exemplifying these virtues in our own lives as parents; then drawing those lessons from the Bible stories and Bible doctrine that we teach them. We need to teach our children to not settle for anything less than a virtuous, charactered, godly spouse; one who loves the Lord supremely.
What is Character?
Character is doing what is right, regardless of the consequences. Character is doing what we said we would do, even when it is inconvenient or when we don’t feel like doing it.
The lack of character, even among Christians, is the reason why in this age there are so many marital problems, including: divorces, business failures and bankruptcies.
Are Romantic Feelings Enough?
Romance is beautiful and wonderful. I’m all for romance in marriage; but a marriage that is built on romance alone will probably fail. On the other hand, a marriage that is built on Christ in which both husband and wife are men and women of character is bound to succeed and God will throw in romance as a bonus.
So let’s look now at a woman’s virtue, her value and the fact that she is a vanishing breed, or endangered species.
First let’s look at her virtue. Virtue is moral excellence, including sexual purity. Such a woman has an attractive personality which results in a genuine inner beauty that is expressed through her eyes and her smile. Jesus, as a young boy, was virtuous. Luke 2:51-52 tells us that He increased in stature and in favor with God, and with man. That is, people liked Him and enjoyed being around Him.
II Peter 1:1-3 tells us that virtue comes from God. He gives us everything we need that pertains to life and godliness and that it all comes to us through the knowledge of His Word. We are called to a life of glory and virtue. It is total devotedness to Him, whether He gives us a mate or not. It is finding our joy and delight in Him. It is living in the Heavenlies in fellowship with Him while at the same time living with our feet on the ground.
I encourage you young people to memorize Proverbs 31:30. Hide it in your heart as you seek God’s will concerning college, a career and a mate. That verse does not teach you to be careless about your appearance, but understand that true beauty comes from within you as you develop Christian character and become more like Jesus.
A reputation for virtue takes time to develop, but it’s a young person’s most valuable asset. There were many virtuous men and women in the Bible, including the following. Joseph was sold into slavery and ended up as Prime Minister of Egypt. Daniel was captured and taken into Babylon, becoming an influential advisor to Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar, and later to Darius of Persia. Esther, a virtuous Jewish maiden became Persian Emperor Ahasuerus’ queen, using her influence to protect her people from being massacred. Mary, a virtuous young virgin of Nazareth was given the blessed privilege of supernaturally conceiving and bearing the body of Jesus, who was God come down to earth in human flesh. Ruth is specifically mentioned in Ruth 3:11 as a virtuous woman. She was a young Moabitess who eventually married Boaz. From his lineage Jesus was born.
Parents, beware of ungodly influences in the lives of your children if you want them to grow up to be beautiful, polished and successful young men and women in the eyes of God. Psalm 144:7-12
What makes something valuable? It’s quality, it’s importance to you and its scarcity. There are lots of ravishingly beautiful women in this world, but few women of character, virtue and purity. The same goes with men. Handsome men (I hear women call them “hunks”) should not be the first quality a young woman seeks in a husband. Rather she should be asking God to give her a man of virtue and character; a man who will love God first, her second and will be a godly example to her children and leader to her family.
We cherish, protect and care for that which is precious, rare and fragile; including china, crystal, pottery, valuable paintings and antique furniture. Most importantly, should we husbands cherish our virtuous wives by caring for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Don’t ever take your wife for granted. Be patient with her flaws and weaknesses. You have them also. God is patient and gentle with you.
As a pastor is not to lord it over his flock, but be an example to them, as Peter teaches in I Peter 5:1-4; so a husband is not to force submission on his wife. Rather, she offers glad submission to her husband by first submitting herself to Christ.
HER VANISHING BREED
Seeking a virtuous wife is as important as seeking for God’s wisdom and seeking His will for your life. Where are you seeking? How earnestly are you seeking? It ought to be your daily prayer that in God’s time He will bring the right mate to you. God gives His wisdom to those who diligently seek Him. That includes wisdom to recognize His spouse for you.
Rebekah found her husband Isaac by faithfully doing her duties at home. Read their inspiring love story in Genesis 24. The secret was that she was faithfully fulfilling her duties at home, including drawing water from the well. In so doing, she met an aged man who led her to her husband. Abraham’s faithful servant rejoiced when he found a bride for his master’s son, ” I being in the way, the Lord led me.”
God’s way is perfect Psalm 18:30 teaches us. Have you learned that yet? A wife is a precious gift from the Lord Proverbs 19:14 says. Psalm 127 teaches that a husband is also a gift from God, as are your children. As God tailor made Eve for Adam, so He is tailor making your spouse.
Girls, though God did not say, “It is not good that a woman should be alone” He did say that “It is not good that man should be alone.” He who made you and knows you best knows whether you need a husband or not. If you do, He will bring His man into your life in His time. Believe me, girls, a life of singleness is a thousand times better than being married to the wrong man who will end up breaking your heart.
Don’t jump ahead of God and ruin your life. Read and meditate on Psalm 37:1-5 and the rest of those wonderful Psalms. Concentrate on being a man or woman of God. Delight in knowing and surrendering yourself to Him and He will bring your dreams to pass.
Next time, Lord willing, we will talk about a virtuous wife’s mystical union with her husband.
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