Virtuous Woman #6: Mystical Union
Virtue is Practical
Interestingly, the description of a virtuous woman as we find it in Proverbs 31 does not say anything about her relationship with God, except in verse 30 that “she fears God”; that is, that she has a reverential fear of God. It’s expected that she spends time reading and meditating in the Law of God, as does the blessed man of Psalm 1, but it doesn’t say so. It’s expected that she spends time in prayer and communion with God, but it doesn’t say so. Instead, her virtue is described practically by the way she cares for the needs of her family and home. These practical expressions reveal her virtue.
I wonder why her relationship with God is not mentioned. Could it be that women by nature, perhaps more than men, tend to give themselves exclusively to prayer and the reading of God’s Word to the exclusion of their mundane tasks and household responsibilities as wives and mothers?
I’m not discounting the importance and even the necessity of a wife and mother’s quiet time with the Lord each day. She needs that time with the Lord, even in the midst of pressing duties, as do men.
Rare is the woman, who like Mary, sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to Him teach and who like Martha, kept up on all her household chores. We all tend to go to one extreme or the other.
II Peter 1:1-3 teaches us that virtue comes from God through the knowledge of His Word. Time in fellowship with Him provides us with the practical wisdom and strength to get through each day. It says in verse 3 that we have been called to glory and virtue. Glory is living with Christ in the Heavenlies. Virtue is living that life and accomplishing what needs to be done in the daily hum-drum of carrying out responsibilities in the home, In other words, a virtuous woman is not so heavenly-minded that she is of no earthly good. Rather, true heavenly-mindedness results in a practical living out of the Christian life in loving service to both her family and to others.
Oneness in Marriage
Note now, how her godly virtuous life is lived out in her relationship with her husband. She is no longer an individual woman living out her personal life and doing as she pleases. She is now her husband’s wife. Theirs is a mystical union, a personal relationship with one another built on total love and trust. She accepts his name and her identity is in him. She gladly submits herself to him for his good and best interests. Girls, if you have not yet found such a man, you’ve not yet found the right husband.
As a wife, you enjoy your husband’s love, protection and provision. Your husband has total trust and confidence in you. He can share his heart freely with you and you can share your heart freely with him. There are absolutely no secrets between the two of you, except perhaps the secret gifts you give to one another.
As physical nakedness is not something to be ashamed of between a husband and wife, so your hearts can be naked and totally open to one another. See Genesis 2:25.
The Family Circle in Heaven
This union as husband and wife lasts until death parts you. Regardless of the sentimental song, “Will the Circle Be Unbroken?” there will be no family circles in Heaven. In fact Jesus said in Matthew 22:24-30 that there will be no marriages in Heaven. Some have the sentimental hope that our marriages on earth will continue in Heaven for eternity, but there is no scriptural evidence for that.
Will we know one another in Heaven? Absolutely! but not in the relationships of this earth. Our relationship with Christ and with one another as part of His Bride, will be more intimate and pure and joyful than our minds can conceive now. We will have eternity to get acquainted and to know one another as we are known. In Heaven we will not be focused on our husband or wife (the Gift), but rather on Christ, (the Giver).
For now on this earth, regardless of whether we are married or single, Christians are in an indissoluble eternal union with Christ. If you are married, you are bound in an indissoluble temporal union with your spouse for as long as you live. Be aware as Ephesians 5:31-32 teaches that our earthly marriage to our spouse is a constant illustration of the mystery of our Heavenly marriage to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Our union with Christ is an indissoluble union which began with our new birth as Christians and will continue throughout eternity.
How to Hurt Yourself in Marriage – If You Really Want To
Returning to our earthly marital union, a virtuous wife spends her life doing her husband good and not evil. Proverbs 31:12 She cares for his physical and emotional needs as he cares for her physical and emotional needs. She guards his name, his reputation and his credit. Ephesians 5:28-29 teaches that she can’t hurt him without hurting herself; just as a husband can’t hurt his wife without hurting himself.
Because of a virtuous wife’s loyalty and support, her husband has a good reputation in his community. Ephesians 5:31 shows us that he becomes a man of influence and respect. His wife encourages him to reach his full potential. They are not living individual lives in competition with each other, but they are living each for the other and both for God.
Finally, Proverbs 31:28 says that a virtuous wife is well rewarded. Her husband appreciates her and he is glad to let the world know it. Her children also continue to walk with God as they grow older. We parents can say with John in III John 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
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