Hidden Treasures

The Bible is much more than a book of religion.

Marriage series #3: Foundations

God is the author and designer of marriage. Marriage is a covenant that a man and a woman make together before Almighty God and in the presence of witnesses. It is a covenant for better or for worse and is to be honored as long as both parties to the covenant live. Malachi 2:14-15

Marriage is a picture of the Christian's relationship with Christ as described in Ephesians 5. We are His spiritual bride and He is our spiritual husband. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman in a total, intimate, physical, emotional and spiritual oneness. It is a relationship involving mutual trust, dependence, faithfulness, integrity and love. Christ is the foundation rock for a Christian marriage. I Corinthians 6:19-20 7:1-18 Christians should not consider marrying an unbeliever.

When a young man and woman enter the holy estate of matrimony, they cut the dependency ties with their parents and all others and learn to depend on one another under God for their physical, spiritual, emotional and financial needs.

Use courtship time wisely
The purpose of the courtship and engagement is to give the time needed to talk, to listen, to observe and to learn more about one another. Engagements should last long enough to know your future husband or wife. This is the time to frankly and honestly discuss all the important issues of life, including your relationship with God and your understanding of Biblical doctrines. This is the time to talk about where you will attend church together. This is the time to start praying together. Young men should take the spiritual leadership in the matter of praying together and spending time reading and discussing God's Word together. Young ladies, consider these questions as you date a young man.
1. Is this the man to whom I can look for spiritual leadership in my home?
2. Is this the man I want to be the father of my children?

This is the time to discuss everything in life that could possibly be a disagreement.
Do you want children? How many do you want? Are you in agreement concerning birth control? What about finances? What about the use of credit cards, a budget, investments, tithing? Where will you live? Will you both work outside the home or will the wife plan to be at home with the children when they come? What about education for the children? Will it be public school, private Christian school or home-schooling? What do you enjoy doing together in your leisure time? How will you spend vacations? Take time to talk these matters out together. If there are disagreements, discuss them now. If they are insurmountable, it may mean ending the relationship. Better now, than after the wedding. Observe how your boy friend or girl friend treats others. If they are disrespectful, rude or overbearing, they will eventually be that way with you.

"Don't sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate!" Dr. Bob Jones Sr.
Sexual impurity will be a strong temptation. I challenge you to keep yourself pure. It honors God. It enables you to concentrate on the important issues of life and it makes your wedding night even more wonderful!

Plan prayerfully together
Finally, make your wedding plans together. The average couple spends about 90 to 100% of their courtship planning their ceremony and honeymoon and about 0 to 10% of their time planning their life together as husband and wife. You need to reverse those percentages. You need to spend 90% of your courtship time planning your life together and about 10% planning your wedding. If you are Christian, you will no doubt want to plan a wedding in your church. Work with the pastor on this. Plan ahead. Don't approach your pastor with a request to marry you next week or next month. He will, no doubt, want to spend several weeks counseling you. A wedding does not need to be extremely expensive. Concentrate on planning together with your future spouse and with your families. With careful planning you can have a beautiful, Christ-honoring wedding.


March 28, 2006 - Posted by | Marriage Series

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