Marriage series #6: Intimacy Lost
What is the fundamental need each of us has, whether we are single or married, whether we are age two, or twenty-two or eighty-two? Certainly food and water are up at the top; but perhaps right up there with food is intimacy. What is it that draws Christians to gather in churches? Certainly it ought to be to hear the preaching of God’s Word, but almost as important is the desire for intimacy. Intimacy is the universal desire that is deeper than the sexual relationship of a husband and wife. Even such a relationship is lacking and unfulfilling if it does not spring from a heart of intimacy and unselfish love.
Everyone needs intimacy.
The world cries out for intimacy. Mostly it is masked by callousness and self-confidence. When asked how we are; we answer with a polite smile, “Oh, I’m fine.” The reason we respond that way is because we have learned that most people who ask really don’t care. We human beings have the ability to build a shell around our hearts to keep us from getting hurt because we have been hurt in the past.
Everyone without exception longs for intimacy. Infants cry out for intimacy with their parents. Boys and girls desperately need to grow up in a home where love and intimacy flows between Mother and Dad and between brothers and sisters and other close relatives. Pre-school children have their imaginary friends, as well as their dolls and teddy bears that help satisfy the need for intimacy. School children have their friends at school. All children need a best friend with whom they can share secrets. Class activities, school clubs, choir, band and sports all help to meet the need to belong, which is another way of speaking of the need for intimacy. Teens who do not find intimacy at home or at school may seek it by joining gangs or by getting involved in sexual promiscuity.
What has gone wrong with this world?
Sin has ruined mankind and this world and robbed us, not only of innocence, but of intimacy. When God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the beautiful Garden of Eden, they lived in a state of absolute perfection and intimacy with their Creator. God walked and talked with them each day. They knew Him and enjoyed His presence. When they rebelled against God, they not only ruined their relationship with Him, but with one another. Furthermore, sin has ruined the whole creations. Romans 8:20-23 Man became estranged from God and from his fellow man. Psalm 58:3 says, “The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.”
Sin not only separates us from God; but sin ruins intimacy.
An unconverted married couple can never know the fullness of intimacy that God intended them to enjoy. A married couple; one a Christian and the other an unbeliever, live in two different worlds and although they reach out to one another in love; their intimacy is limited. The unconverted partner is incapable of sharing intimately and completely in the heart and life of his Christian spouse. I Corinthians 2:14 Ungodly singles, as well as married couples will go from one relationship to another; all in search of intimacy. God, the source of love and intimacy, has the answer.
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