Family series #5: Christian Training
A fourth wall we need to build to protect our children from evil and prepare them to know, love and serve God is the wall of Christian training. Proverbs 22:6 gives instruction and a promise to parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This verse is not saying that a child will have his fling and live in sin and rebellion in his youth and then when he is old he will return to God; although, as in the case of the Prodigal Son, that sometimes happens and we rejoice when a prodigal son or daughter returns to God. It is teaching that if we look to God for wisdom and faithfully carry out our God-given responsibilities as parents, our children will grow up to please Christ from childhood. Rebellion during the teens years is not something we need to expect and suffer through.
Don’t be a know-it-all parent
In this age when there is a proliferation of books on child rearing the greatest danger for young parents is to be self-confident and certain that they know all the answers and that raising children will be a breeze. It was a blessing to us that as young parents we felt so inadequate. We literally cried to God for His wisdom, and as He promised in James 1, He gave it to us as we searched His Word to learn how to raise our family.
My wife and I can verify the truth of the Proverbs 22:6 promise from our own experience as parents. Although we were certainly not the perfect parents, we did the best we could to train our children. None of them ever went through the “terrible twos” nor became rebellious teenagers. Our children were a constant delight to us. No one ever enjoyed parenting any more than we did. Today each of them are married to godly spouses and each of them are raising children who love God and are living for the Lord. God is faithful to His promises.
Christian training begins in infancy.
Isaiah 28:9-10 asks and answers the question as to how early we should begin that training. “Whom shall he teach knowledge? Whom shall he make to understand doctrine?” Then he gives the answer. “Them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little.” Mothers and fathers should begin introducing their children to Christ through reading the Bible to them, praying with them, telling Bible stories and singing songs about Jesus from their earliest years. When a child is old enough to enjoy hearing and learning nursery rhymes, he is old enough to learn about Jesus and the need for Him as Saviour. Basically Christian training in early childhood involves simplicity, repetition and application day in and day out. That training should continue at the dinner table, when taking walks, when being tucked into bed at night. It’s an ongoing life style and should be a part of normal daily conversation. There is no better time to teach the doctrine of sin and the need for Jesus as our Saviour than when dealing with our children over misbehavior. As parents we must be alert to every opportunity to teach our children Biblical truth.
Bring your children to church.
I encourage parents to bring their infants into the sanctuary and sit with them in church. Our children were with my wife in church each Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening as babies, sleeping in the pew beside her or quietly eating Cheerios one at a time. Later on as toddlers they were permitted to sit quietly, playing with toys or drawing pictures, absorbing the atmosphere of church. As they grew up, there never was a question of whether they would attend nor did they complain that they had to go to church. It was just a normal part of life. Our oldest son came to his mother at the age of four and expressed a desire to receive Christ as His Saviour. Together they prayed and she had the joy of leading him to Christ. Later our oldest boy led his younger brother to Christ and later the two boys led their sister to Christ.
True, there is nothing an infant is going to learn from the pastor’s sermon, but little by little they begin absorbing truth, here a little, there a little, line upon line, precept upon precept. Often a toddler will ask his parents questions about things he has heard in church. Sometimes a small child will repeat back to his parents things he has heard the preacher or Sunday School teacher say. A little one will absorb the atmosphere of the church service. It will become a part of his life and as he grows older he will not depart from the training if he sees consistency in his parents, in his Sunday School teacher and in his pastor. The Church family all has a part in helping and encouraging parents to carry out this awesome responsibility.
In II Timothy 1:5 and 3:15 we learn that by the grace of God Timothy became a faithful Christian and pastor because of the godly influence of his mother Eunice and this grandmother Lois. In the normal Christian family, that responsibility falls on the shoulders of the father, but is equally shared by the mother.
Who do you trust to teach your children?
I recommend that if you have the opportunity; place your children in a Christian school that best reflects your standards or home school them if you are prepared to take on that responsibility. Either option is better than the secular and anti-christian influence of public schools. Understand that placing your children in a Christian school is not going to accomplish your goals of raising Christian young people, if there is a lack of dedication to Christ on your part or if you are failing as the examples you ought to be as parents or if you are failing in the matter of discipline. Christian training is best carried out as children are receiving the same Biblical training in the home, in the school and in the church.
What good is all the Christian training if the parents themselves are not dedicated to the Lord, not disciplined themselves and if they are not the right example to their children? It’s not Christian training that drives children in Christian families to rebellion. For the most part, it is inconsistency and hypocrisy on the part of their parents. It is failing to control the influences: the wrong friends, the wrong TV programs and the wrong music, that parents allow their children to absorb. Christian parents simply cannot abdicate that responsibility without doing great harm to their children.
Instant, cheerful obedience
As we teach our small children instant, cheerful obedience and as we train them properly, instilling Biblical values into their minds and hearts; there will be less commanding and less external control by the time they reach their teens.. Gradually we will increase their freedom as they prove to us that they can assume responsibility and self-control. After all, the purpose of Christian training is to prepare our young people to become responsible adults, able to make wise decisions and face the consequences of those decisions.
If children are disciplined and taught respect and obedience from infancy, if they see and sense love and consistency in their parents, if they are protected from wrong influences from outside the home; they will not turn from the Christian training of their parents, but will grow up to love and serve the Lord. This is God’s promise to faithful, obedient Christian parents.
