Marriage series #8: Compatibility
So you and your wife are incompatible. That's not surprising. Did you expect a clone of yourself for a spouse? How boring that marriage would be. Of course, you are incompatible! You and your spouse are two different individuals. She likes it hot. You like it cold. She likes your living room arranged one way. You like it arranged another way. She likes the toilet paper to roll from underneath. You like it to roll from the top. She doesn't like the bathroom mirror spotted. You couldn't care less. She's fastidious about details. You drive her crazy with your carelessness about details.
The lovey-dovey days
Before you were married, you couldn't keep your eyes off each other. Now she has put on some pounds since the babies came and you're feeling sorry for yourself. Before you were married, you went to sports events together and had fun. Now that you're married, your husband sits in front of the TV and watches every basketball game and it's driving you crazy.
So you are incompatible! What else is new?
What can you do about incompatibility? Learn to live with it and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Ask God to change you instead of frustrating yourself trying to change your spouse. You'll never change him. Only God can do that and He will, if you allow God to work on you first.
My definition and description of marriage
Christian marriage is the divine art whereby God unites as one a Christian man and a Christian woman who have been drawn together by romantic love and by a growing assurance that God has fitted them for one another. Through the exchange of sacred vows before God and in the company of witnesses they promise to love, honor and be faithful and true to one another for as long as they both shall live. Miraculously the process of two becoming one has begun.
Shortly after the wedding, you begin to learn about each other's faults and soon discover you're incompatible. There are times when the romantic, emotional feelings of love temporarily fade and you begin to wonder if you've made a terrible mistake. It's at times like this that you need to remind yourself of the covenant you made to each other in the sight of God and before a company of witnesses. There is no incompatibility too big for God to solve in your marriage. He may not remove the problem, but He will enable you to live with it and at the same time deepen your love for your spouse.
Through a lifetime God takes a somewhat incompatible and immature Christian couple and does an ongoing work of sanctification in their lives so that their love and devotion to one another begins to reflect the holy, intimate relationship of Christ and His Church. It only takes about twenty minutes to get married, but it takes a lifetime to build a happy, blessed, God-honoring marriage
Are you compatible with God?
Your first step to compatibility is to become compatible to God and to His will for your life. As you draw near to God, you will find yourself drawing closer to your spouse. Husbands, it's your responsibility to seek the Lord for help in your marriage.
God gave you a beautiful bride who entrusted herself to you. What she becomes over the years depends on how you treat her. She can become a miserable shrew in old age or she can become the love of your life.
